i feel lost sometimes.
as if the world is going on around me and i’m watching it from afar.
I want to go back and push pause on the videotape of my life at age 12. when the most we had to worry about was what time mom would call us in for dinner, and not money, fame, power, greed, sex, politics, or religion.
life was carefree.
a cardboard box could be a plane, boat, or spaceship. now a cardboard box is used as something to pack past memories in or just another convenient trash receptacle. my brother, erik, was someone i looked up to, and now we struggle to speak once every couple years. he has a child, who will one day love cardboard boxes i’m sure.
someone asked me today my thoughts of what heaven is going to be like, and I went into some brilliantly-shallow explanation on the going-ons of the life after…but in retrospect I wish I would have said I want heaven to be nothing more than life as an eternal 12 year old, with a never ending supply of refrigerator boxes, and my brother erik.