Useless Wings

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Cars stampede past me. Through grey fog, faces weighing as much as bricks, these man made stars pierce holes in the low dangling clouds, creating small moons in the dark sky, swirling from every slashing tired. Love is birthed in new beginnings. Why does everything around me feel like it’s ending?

Sometimes a tight hug and a warm kiss can feel like a fresh graveyard. There are days when homes are decorated with grief. The worst pain in the world comes from missing another person.

Shoot me down, bruise my bones and cut my skin, but don’t leave me all alone. Oh, I hate that you’re gone. I hate that you’re driving. And I hate that I can be so needy. No, I certainly don’t mean to hold you back. I just know I need to hold you. I’m not sure how you did it, but you made my life better–

So long’s roll over our cheek bone hills, pouring memories into the crease of our palms. My tears hit already wet roadway, and sound like tiny birds smacking against car windshields.

Can you hear what is happening inside me? Or is it just me? I wish you could see through me, because I haven’t got the guts to show you my lack of guts, to show you how violently I’m dying inside, or how much my love for you hurts. Look at me, I’m made of tissue paper.

When I was younger I was invincible, but now I hurt and bleed daily, defeated and inculcated by the blanket of your passion. I’m in deep.

Gone, you vanish through tail lights, down a stretch of road, off into old lands. I stand statue-esque in the embrace of a grey suited sky. Damp air wraps around me, it’s felt my proportions before, and understands me. I can feel it in my chest and against my neck. It can hear my heart beat slow. But from miles away, across bridges…can you? I shut my eyes and in my mind your car speeds faster, stealing you away from me. Oh, if my wings weren’t useless, I’d catch you right now. I’d push off this cement and soar to you. I’d come after you, come for you, come with you. But these wings are useless.

A broken wing can’t leave ground.

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